Do you play the pokies? It’s an interesting question in the context of this blog. I’m aware that the majority of my readers are anti-gambling, or reformed gamblers, but I hope that there are still quite a few people finding their way here who are struggling with gambling in their lives, and that they can find something here that may help. It doesn’t even have to be something I’ve written; when it comes to dealing with gambling addiction, no one can afford to be that precious. I have links to a number of gambling help sites, and I know that they are accessed from time to time. Hopefully that makes a difference.
But if you DO play the pokies, the logical next question is: is this a problem for you? While gambling addicts are aware that they have a problem, what about those at risk? Or those who feel that they are in control of their gambling? It’s a fuzzy area… how do we know if we really have a problem?
I played the pokies for three years. For most of that time I knew I was in way too deep, and I felt completely unable to get out. But if I had known, early on while my addiction was growing, that I was at risk, could I have stopped myself? If I had been made to see the warning signs, would it have made a difference? I like to think it would.
And so I’m proposing an experiment. A challenge for all of you out there who do play the pokies, whether it be occasionally, regularly or every chance you get. I’m proposing a pokie detox.
It’s simple. For two weeks, you don’t play the pokies. Just two weeks. It doesn’t matter if your friends are going out to play, or someone in your family wants you to come along… for two weeks, become an ex-pokie player.
But why? I hear you ask. What do you hope to prove? Well, it’s not what I hope to prove that’s important; it’s what I hope you learn. If you, as a pokie player, can go for two weeks without touching a poker machine, then you’ll learn something about yourself. Did you miss it? Did you think about playing? Did you find yourself making excuses why you should play, even though you had decided not to? Did you find you had more money than usual? Did you get cranky? What did you do instead? If you can stay pokie-free for two weeks and then answer these questions honestly, you’ll have a much better idea of how healthy your gambling really is.
And if the answer scares or worries you, then maybe it’s time to do something about it.
Having said all that, if you decide to take this challenge then I certainly would like to hear from you. I want to make this a coordinated effort, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on the experience. And by sharing your experiences, maybe you too can make a difference to someone else’s troubles.
The Pokie Detox will hopefully run sometime in December; I’m still formalising the dates. The original plan was to cover the last two weeks of November, but that’s a bit soon… plus, there’s an election on! So I’m trying to get it up and running for the lead-up to Christmas. I’ll keep you posted. If you want to take part, feel free to contact me and let me know; there’s an email contact form on my menu bar (top of screen). And please, whether you participate or not, let people know about this. A pokie detox may not help you, but it may be just the thing for someone you know.
Over the next week, I will set up a separate page on this blog dedicated to the Pokie Detox; somewhere you can leave your thoughts and observations about the experience, whenever you like. You won’t have to wait until it’s over, if you want to you can update it daily, or even more frequently if you like. Whatever works for you. And you can be as anonymous as you like.
Just give it a try. Two weeks is not the end of the world.
November 9th, 2010 on 11:00 pm
Cyenne…I had the most severe physical and mental withdrawal from pokies when I finally got to stay away even for a few days or up to a week. Two weeks away from pokies would have been way beyond me in the end, when my addiction was full blown!
I became tearful, shaky, unable to concentrate, irritable and had headaches when I first tried seriously to stop using poker machines, in 1999. Thoughts of being at the pokies consumed me always. I had to have medication for 6 weeks after I finally stopped, until the worst feelings began to wane.
Gradually these feelings changed and I felt normal again for the first time in years, but that initial ‘partial detox’ process occurred for me over a few months up to years, not just weeks. Flashes of longing for gambling would hit me strongly at times for years afterward. The gaps just widened over time.
From the time I fully stopped using poker machines I found that I had to relearn how to shop! That understanding shocked me. I could not bring myself at first to buy shoes. $100 was enough for a pokies session after all.
The first time that I found coins and notes still in my purse, when I paid for goods at a supermarket I knew the difference. I felt a new sense of pride that I was regaining my soul. All the years I used poker machines I would drain my purse to ‘under one dollar’ so I had never had more than a few cents left in cash on me, at any time. Such a small thing to another person, but a huge breakthrough for me was to see ‘coins left over’.
In fact I also had to learn how to actually enjoy spending again. I had not bought clothes or makeup unless at opp shops, for years so it was exciting for me to go to Myers or other specialty shops and buy normally again. Buying Christmas presents was a joy since for too long I had not been able to pick and choose. It had been ‘the barest’ etc while addicted.
A vivid memory was going for a coffee and gourmet afternoon tea with my daughters in Camberwell in 2002…where I had lived when my addiction was at its peak in 1999. But before I had no money to spend on coffee and besides, pokies venues offered it free, so that option had always won out previously. I felt ‘back into living’ at last when I could order food and pay.
I would love to be able to say that I ‘just gave up pokies’ cold turkey…but for me that was not the case. The best I could hope for was that breakouts got fewer and further between, with less loss each time. That happened until 2005/6 when I went to live in Western Australia and I finally had the ‘full detox’ I needed. No local pokies there. It was bliss.
Prior to my pokies addiction, rather than being ‘out of control’ I had a history of strong self-control. At uni. I resisted pot / hash 100% of the time, though I lived with others who smoked it regularly. I hardly drank alcohol. The first time I ever gambled on horses I lost $15 in 1967…a huge amount at that time. I was so mortified I got a Sunday table waiting job next day to make the loss up. I never later overspent on any sort of gambling and could always ‘walk away’.
In my 20′s, after teaching full time I also studied at night, driving miles out of my way to get to lectures while flat mates partied on, with me arriving home at 10pm ready to fall into bed, in time for work again.
I get so mad when pokies addicts are written off as irresponsible losers, as if that is how they had always spent their lives. As if pokies addiction were inevitable for them because of personal moral deficit.
Prior to my addiction I was always known as the reliable one, responsible job, the steady entrepreneur who invested in real estate etc. A year after my addiction peaked I had nothing left but my life, my family, some good friends and some small measure of sanity. It was just enough to kick on with, while I learned how to live again.
Oddly enough I can see some advantages in having that experience now, but would I have allowed it to happen had I fully understood the process of gambling addiction and how it is caused? No way…
November 10th, 2010 on 12:56 pm
Libby, thank you so much for sharing your story, and how you managed to break away.
I’ve been seeking some advice on this concept, and I’m going to postpone it until December… looking to cover the lead-up to Christmas, when people may be more appreciative of the extra dollars in their pockets! There are a number of safety issues to consider as well; as you said, many people wouldn’t be able to last two weeks, and I want them to know that they can walk away from the detox if the strain becomes too much. This isn’t about making people quit; it’s about letting them learn something about themselves and their gambling behaviours.
I hope to have a dedicated site up and running by this weekend, and I’ll be getting some more advice and opinions before I roll it out.
November 10th, 2010 on 9:41 pm
Have copied this message to here…”I love the idea Tom…Had it been around when I was trying to stop I would have done it in a heartbeat. It would be good to get some wider promo for it and also to have a few ‘events’ maybe…online diary chats etc…so people could follow each other’s progress. That would be harder to organize I know…but from little ideas…big ideas can grow so stick with it. Also love your ‘Twibbon’ logo…could the ‘detox’ thing be followed on Twitter interactively?xo”
How hard would it be to set up a ‘chat forum’ on your site? Even where people can leave anonymous messages? In Australia we have no such resource I do not think apart fro ma small one on the Gamblers Help site…but check http://www.gamblingtherapy.org in the UK and they have a forum…that is what I mean. We need it so much. Before people dare to go anywhere near counselors they need anonymous interaction…and really the govt sites SHOULD be promoting our sites TOO! After all anybody who has had gambling issues has more insights than anyone else about ‘recovery’ AND how to reduce gambling harms! I hate that word ‘recovery’ as it sounds so ‘medical’!